THE PRESSURE OF “SOFT LIFE” IN NIGERIA

On a Friday evening in Abuja, Michael drove his 2008 Toyota Corolla through Gwarimpa traffic with his girlfriend Nkoyo, a fashion designer, beside him. She showed him Instagram photos of friends at a luxury resort in Seychelles. “We should go sometime,” she said. Michael smiled, but inside he was calculating. His civil service salary barely covered rent, fuel, and groceries. The soft life people flaunted online felt far away.

Nkoyo didn’t mean to pressure him—she too was caught in the social media wave. Friends were flying abroad for quick getaways, upgrading cars every two years, and dining in new Abuja restaurants. Michael wanted to give her that life, but he knew trying to keep up would lead only to debt.

One evening, he laid out his salary breakdown. Nkoyo listened as he explained how appearances could trap them. “I want us to enjoy too,” he said, “but I’d rather build something lasting.”

From then, they planned differently. Their first target was replacing the aging Corolla. They cut back on outings, saved carefully, and added income from Nkoyo’s growing fashion business. Months later, they proudly upgraded to a 2014 Toyota Camry. Soon after, they saved for a modest vacation to Ghana. It wasn’t London or Paris, but it was theirs—and it felt like a win.

Their lifestyle shifted too. Instead of overpriced meals and cocktails in restaurants and lounges in Wuse and Maitama, they enjoyed Arabian tea and suya under Abuja’s evening lights. Some weekends, they packed snacks and drinks for picnics at Millennium Park. They spread mats on the grass, laughed over card games, and shared soft drinks while children played football nearby. Sometimes a friend brought a guitar, music drifting as the Abuja skyline glowed. These simple gatherings brought them more joy than anything online.

With time, their bond deepened, built not on competition but on companionship. Their wedding reflected that spirit—simple yet beautiful. Nkoyo designed her own gown, a flowing lace piece that turned heads without draining their savings. Friends swayed as Johnny Drille performed live, while aunties served jollof rice, grilled fish, and fried meat. It was laughter, food, music—and pure joy.

A year later, Michael and Nkoyo welcomed their first child. By then, steady savings, Nkoyo’s business growth, and a small mortgage had moved them into their new home: a 3-bedroom terrace duplex in an estate in Life Camp, one of Abuja’s calmer, family-friendly neighborhoods. Sitting together in their living room with their baby, they knew: the real soft life wasn’t about appearances—it was about love, progress, and building a future together.

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